What is friendship?

I have been asking myself this question over and over again lately. I actually know what it is, but sometimes I wonder if other people know the definition to the word, or rather if they even really care at all what it's about deep down inside.

friend  (frɛnd)
— n
1.	a person known well to another and regarded with liking,affection, and loyalty; an intimate
2.	an acquaintance or associate
3.	an ally in a fight or cause; supporter
4.	a fellow member of a party, society, etc
5.	a patron or supporter: a friend of the opera
6.	be friends  to be friendly (with)
7.	make friends  to become friendly (with)

Now, don't get me wrong, there HAVE been times in my life when I wasn't always the greatest friend to some people. There are some of those times that I DO, in fact, regret. However, there are also others that I can say with certainty, I don't, and I never will. If I don't regret it then that should signify that the friendships in question weren't worth saving to me. It happens. I think in those certain situations, I was better off without having certain people as friends. For those people, I am glad they are gone and no longer a part of my life. We don't always remain friends with every single person we ever knew.

Then, we have those souls that come along that we meet, and we wonder how we ever made it this  far without these people in our worlds. I DO indeed have some friends like this. I have known some of them most of my life, and then there are some that I haven't known as long, but they are just as important to my life and survival. If I didn't have some of these crazy people in my corner, I honestly don't know what I would do.  I would probably fall into a great depression. (I have been there before too, and that depression crap is for the birds, so I hope I never have to experience that again!) To THOSE people, (and trust me, if they're in THIS category of friend, they already know who they are without me having to mention their names), I love you dearly and I hope you know that your participation in my world is greatly appreciated. You are a treasure to me and my days would be miserable without your loving additions. Always know that no matter where I am, or how far apart we may be....you are now and forever in my heart and soul and I won't ever let you go.

I know some folks that I would do anything in the world for....give them the shirt off my back, my last bite of food, everything I had, if they needed it to survive. If I've got it, these people already know there isn't anything  I would deny them. We give of ourselves to these kind of friends. It doesn't matter what it is. Sometimes all any of us need is for someone to just sit and listen to us let go of some of the things we're carrying around on our shoulders. This life isn't easy and it's nice that we can help one another get through some things with nothing more than a shoulder to lean on, a kind word, or a genuine smile. It took me a long time to realize it but I know how truly blessed I am to have some completely amazing people taking this journey called Life with me. I love knowing that I can call upon them when necessary, and hope they know that they can always do the same!

I adore those that have come to my rescue when I have been in some pretty dire straits. They have lifted me up out of pits of despair, when I thought I might just give up on life and everything. I am sure they had better things to be doing...their own lives to be living, but they took the time to be a ray of light for me in a very dark place. I honestly owe my very life to a few people. You can never know what it means to me to have you in my life.

I've lost hope and faith so many times in life, and it's been a friend that has smiled, wrapped their arms around me and let me know that I'm not alone and I never will be. They have built me back up and gave that hope back to me. Thank you to those people for believing in me.

What I DON'T understand is the people that call you "friend" and when it comes right down to it, they are never there. If you need them, you can never find them. You do all that you can to be there for people and they just turn their back on you, for absolutely no reason. I don't understand that fuckery now, and I swear I never will. I REALLY don't understand where all this unconditional affection and love I have for people comes from either. I can get dogged out by someone, treated like I don't exist, and yet I still care. It's a puzzle to me....one that I don't ever think I will ever be able to solve. The people that call you a friend to your face but won't hang out with you because they worry about what their OTHER friends will think...the people that only call you when they need you...that person that never talks to you...EVER....that person that smiles in your face and then talks about you behind your back. Where do these people come from? Ugh....I'll never "get it".

I guess it's time for me to start reevaluating some of the things in my life. I need to not worry as much about certain things and certain people. I need to stop caring about a lot of things altogether, but I know myself, and unfortunately, that will never happen. I'm too much of an emotional sucker I think.

Thank you for all the awesome times I have had with some of you, whether in person or online. You are just as important to me if we've never met. If I call you friend...that's exactly what I think of you and there are reasons for it. I'm so glad that some of us are always on the same page...walking side by side, smiling, laughing, and joking...on the same street.

Much love always....xoxo....G

Miss Thang

Dear  Miss Thang....


      This is just a personal note to you to let you know  that you are NOT all that. I'm assuming that you think you are just from your behavior, but I assure you, it's not the case. (I am also not alone in this assessment...believe that, for it is fact.) You may have many people snowed, but not me, nor shall you ever have me that way. I have a brain and eyes in my head. I see you.....right through you actually. I know your type and they are a dime a dozen. I pray you get it together real soon, because Karma is a bitch dear....and when she comes around...she's a mean mother fucker.

                                                                    Sincerely,
                                                                                    I'm Smarter Than You


Have a nice life.  ;)

Responsibility and Accountability

So, I've said I have a lot of shit on my mind lately, and that is very true. I have found myself wondering why people do certain things and also about the people in their lives that enable them to do the things they do. I'm not going to get detailed on this one or mention any names, because frankly it will just piss me off even more.

I think we all know those types of people that are constantly screwing up, fucking someone over, doing some dirt. Somehow, some of these people NEVER have to answer for the stuff they do. It's a cycle for them. They don't just do the shit once. It's an over and over again kind of thing. Everyone around them knows they are wrong for it, but people just turn a blind eye to it and carry on as if nothing is wrong. Frankly, I think it makes those side-liners just as responsible for the dirt as the person committing the offense. Am I wrong? Am I crazy?

    I've had people say to me "Oh, so and so has always been like that." So, that tells me that they just accept the dirt as 'how it is' and they keep on trucking. Sorry, but I don't get down like that. I can't just ACCEPT that it's okay to go around jacking shit up and hurting other people. I don't think it's alright to be allowed to do that and never have to answer for it or give a REAL apology for the things done that have hurt someone else.

I have done a lot of wacked out shit in my life but I have made peace with all my past demons and I can say I have learned my lessons and grown from the things that have transpired in my life. I've grown the hell up. It IS a shame it took me as long as it did to realize that some of my decisions weren't the greatest, and I have messed up a lot. I paid dearly for a lot of my indiscretions. I have lost a lot that I won't ever be able to get back. The key was learning from it and knowing that I couldn't travel those roads  anymore.

Some people don't ever get to that point though, do they?  Do we know why? I think so. I think they don't ever change because they aren't REQUIRED to. All the key players in their world just overlook all the foolishness and fuckery. They just react to all the dirt as if it is nothing more than mere normalcy. THEY should be just as accountable. How can they sit there and say they just don't understand why so and so is the way they are? Are you kidding me? YOU help them be that way! It's as if you are standing there with a big sign that says "I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO DO WRONG."  Do you really expect a person to change when most everyone they know acts as if nothing is amiss?

I've waited a long time to see the change in a number of people, and I have finally realized that it is never going to come. I've done the time in certain situations, wondering when the sun would finally shine through the dark clouds overhead. I was hopeful, and filled with faith. I have finally realized that my faith is sadly misplaced a lot. I have wasted a lot of years waiting for changes that were never going to come. I am thoroughly upset with myself right now as I sit here thinking about it.

I have been in situations where I deserved soooooo much more than I was getting and thought that if I just hung in there....just a while longer...I would eventually see my hopes and wants come to fruition. I was wrong. As long as some people have their posse of enablers always close at hand, their worlds will never change. I DO know that one day, the enablers will no longer be there, and those people are going to be left all alone...wondering where everyone went. I will almost feel sorry for them in THAT moment, for it could have all been avoided. So much pain and distress could be completely obliterated if people would just KEEP IT REAL. Whatever happened to that thing called honesty?

I hope for the sake of a few people that I care about that their enablers wake up and realize that they are doing more of a DISSERVICE to these people than helping. Let a person stand on their own two feet for a change. They NEED to be able to do that now....or the future is going to be a rude awakening.