~30 Days of Truth~ DAY 15 : Gimme A Smoke Or I Choke Out Lil Johnny!!!

Hands down, the one thing I've tried (REPEATEDLY) to live without and failed miserably at, is my smokes. There's a couple people who have seen me go without for long periods of time, and I'm not gonna lie....it just gets UGLY.  I know a lot of people probably think I just don't WANT to go without them. That would be "partly" true, because honestly, I LOVE smoking. However, cigarettes are just as addictive as some of the drugs out there. Granted it's not crack or heroin...but that nicotine will get ya! It will grab ahold of ya and not let go.

My ex's 17 year old cousin was living with me after he and I split up. That poor child came home from high school one day to find me rocking back and forth on the couch like an autistic child might rock back and forth. She took one look at me and KNEW what was wrong. She pretty much told me right then, she had NO earthly intention of spending the night in the same house with me if I was out of cigarettes. LOL. She grabbed some clothes and said she was going to stay at her little friend's house that night. I can't actually remember how long I'd been without one at that point, but I was pretty much at freaking out level.

Everyone has their vices...the things they just can't deal without. Smoking calms me. Call me crazy, but it honestly does. If I'm going through something really stressful, the odds are you will see me with a smoke in my face. If I'm stressed, and you DON'T see a smoke in my hand or between my lips, then it's probably best for you to steer clear of me. The last couple of days I haven't been feeling the greatest and there's a lot of things popping up that are causing me a SIGNIFICANT amount of stress and worry. My attitude today has been a bit worse than normal, so those intelligent people won't find it hard to figure out why.