~30 Days of Truth~ DAY 16 : Sweet Jeebus! Fucktards! They're Everywhere!

Amen.

Fucktards, I tell ya, they're everywhere you look anymore. You can't step out of your front door without the possibility of running into one. Unfortunately for some people, they even have to LIVE with fucktards. (I feel sorry for THOSE poor souls). Yes, I do have a penchant for coming across this type of person very easily. My fucktard radar picks them up like nobody's business. I do tend to enjoy toying with them a lot too, but to be quite honest, they're a nuisance and I could seriously do without them!


We all run across many different types of fucktards in our daily lives. (Someone should really market a "Tard-B-Gone" spray to repel these bastards. Get on it people!)  Let us identify just a few types for shits and giggles. How about it? Alrighty, onward we go!

THE "KNOW IT ALL" FUCKTARD :
-- These people are the ones that no matter what you might be talking about, they know everything about it. The things they are spouting can often "sound:" factual but usually aren't. If you are a rather "learned" type, you will probably know right away that what these tards are saying is completely bogus. For those that aren't quite sure, but have their doubts about the "know-it-all's" information; you can usually do some minimal fact checking to reveal these people are indeed nothing more than clever bullshit artists.

 

THE "ALWAYS HAS A BETTER STORY THAN YOU" FUCKTARD :

-- This is the type of tardo, that while you're in the middle of a story about something that happened to you, will JUMP IN and interrupt you to tell a story about how the same thing happened to them...only BETTER. C'mon, we ALL know this type of person. I used to work with one back in my days at good 'ol Rosewood Care Center in Swansea, IL. It didn't matter who was talking, she would interject in the middle of their repertoire, to let everyone know how the exact same thing went down in her life and was SO much more awesome than what we were already hearing. (We all had the urge to beat her over the head with a cinder block, I assure you!).

Please talk to the hand, stupid bitch. *sigh*

THE "ILLITERATE" FUCKTARD :

-- For the purposes of this entry, I am grouping all the forms of this fucktard that I know, TOGETHER. These would be the ones that can't spell worth a fuck, constantly use screwed up punctuation or NO punctuation at all, the ones who can't understand plain English to save their lives, the poor grammar bitches, and the ones who use computer or texting abbreviations ALL the time, for EVERY thing. These people are my FAVORITE to pick on, for while I am no brilliant scholar or genius myself, I CAN manage to put together coherent sentences so that the masses can understand me. I have MANY friends who hate this group of fucktards as much as I do. We have many hours of laughs at their expense, and also a few headaches from having to read that sort of fuckery. *pukes*

THE "I'M THE SHIT!" FUCKTARD :

--You can find this fucktard anywhere naturally, but I tend to run across this type of person online more than most other places. I've also come to find that it is usually younger people. This form of maggot comes in both the male and female variety, and for some reason they are under the impression that the entire world revolves around them. This type was found A LOT back in high school and was known to me as the "preppy" crowd. They think they are better than everyone else in every possible way....better looking, cooler friends, hotter cars, you name it, they think everything about them is all that and a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. I ALMOST feel sorry for this group of dumbasses, because they haven't figured out that all that beauty will eventually fade, and they'll be left with nothing but their stank ass personalities to get by on. Damn, THAT'S gonna be a rough eye opener, eh? Yes, you guys, you ARE the shit....and what do we do to shit?......

*closing lid*

These are really just a FEW of the types of tardolicious people out there. I'm sure with more time, I could come up with a list that would keep us all busy for YEARS.  No matter what form we find them in, they are nothing more than a hindrance to what might otherwise be a peaceful, rather awesome fucking day. We could ALL do without these little puke stains in our life. It's a shame that we'll never know what it's like without them though. It's official folks, they're here to stay. We might as well enjoy fucking with the little douche canoes while we can!!!  ;)

Get out there and support your fellow intelligent man! Bust a fucktard in the head today!