30 Day Love / Truth Challenge DAY 10: List 10 people you love and explain what they mean to you.

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Haha, I honestly thought this would be easy when I decided to start writing it last night, but then I thought "WTF? Only 10 people?" I certainly love and care for a lot more than just 10 of the folks in my life. This is one of those things where folks could get all bent out of shape if they were to read this entry and not see their names. I hate that feeling. I'd hate to be the person reading something like this, and not see my name. LOL. Ugh, well, it turns out this wasn't easy at all. I busted out the paper and pen to make my list of 10 people. It got to point where someone actually looked at me and told me to stop thinking about it, due to the fact that the expression on my face looked like pain. HAHA! It IS sorta painful, not knowing who you're going to write about in a situation like this. I made my choices though, and made them for reasons of my own, that only I might understand. So, here goes nothing I guess!  ;)

1. MY KIDS : Yes, I realize that I have more than one child, but for the purposes of this, I am counting them as one unit. Not too hard to figure out why I love my children. It shouldn't be anyway. They are my babies. I carried each of them around inside of me for 9 months, feeling them growing and moving. As I've said prior to this, I'll never win a mother of the year award (that's for damn sure) but I do love each of these kiddos with all of my heart. Getting to know them again, after so much time away, gives me something important to look forward to. While my relationships with them may never be what they SHOULD HAVE been, I still have them in my life again, and that is such a huge blessing for me.

 2: JASON BOWLES : Jas has been one of the best friends a person could ever possibly have for a little over 2 years now. We met online, on a site called Myyearbook.com.  He's actually been "interested" in me since the very beginning, but I was either too busy wanting to remain single, or just "not in the mood". For some strange reason, Jason decided to remain my friend, even when I wasn't giving him the time of day like he wanted it. If he ever saw me online and saw my statuses showed I was going through something, he was always right there to ask if I was alright. I currently live with Jason. After my relationship failing in IL, I came back to the east coast and ended up deciding to come here to S.C. Though Jas and I are currently not in a relationship, we certainly do already act like an old married couple. LOL. He's a good man, and though it's not necessarily exactly the way he'd want things to be with us, he's pretty patient with me, knowing all that I've been through. We are starting to butt heads a bit since we both like to tell it like it is. That makes for some interesting conversations sometimes. I do treasure the fact that he is an honest man who will ALWAYS keep it real with me. I've loved him for 2 years, but now it's just a little more involved of a feeling. Who knows what will happen between us in the future. Should be interesting!  ;) I love you Jas. You should know that by now.

3. LINDA DUNNE: I've never met this woman in person but I've known her for about roughly 5 years I'd say. I could be a tad off on my time table, but that's just because it feels like I've known her FOREVA! Linda is probably one of the most amazing and REAL people I know. I think it's because she's a "Jersey girl". LOL. She definitely has that whole Jersey girl attitude going on. It is the MAIN thing about her that I love so much. She and I met online (are we seeing a theme here with my friends that mean so much to me? lol) on Pogo.com. She was sort of like the angry mother hen of the room we used to hang out in. She used to jump on everyone she saw doing stupid stuff or acting some way they shouldn't be. Enter MOI....hahaha. I was always up to no good back then. Linda saw me behaving in a way that wasn't good for my own self worth, and trust meeeee,. she didn't waste any time telling me about myself. I suppose that in the beginning, I hated that, but I eventually realized that she did it because she truly cared about me. That's saying a lot too, because Linda doesn't care about just everyone. She's a picky broad when it comes to who she chooses to be friends with. It turns out that she has become one of the greatest friends I've ever had, and I know she'd have my back in a New York minute if I honestly needed her. "Shawty" is as real as they come and I don't know where I'd be right now if not for her telling me how I was doing wrong. She had more of an impact on me than she probably even knows. I love you Linda baby!

4. JEREMY RICHARDS : Awwww my Jeremy. I don't have a bad thing to say about him. Jer and I met on Myyearbook too. (Yes, online! LMAO) We got really tight after being on that site together. They have this thing on there, where people "battle" each other with pictures. It started off really fun, but became quite the hassle. It's like any other site, and you get hooked...completely addicted...and can't pull yourselves away. We were both addicted to it. I got to the point where I was totally crazy about some Jeremy. I even made him my Myyearbook hubby haha. We'd send out battle requests on the site together. I think we made a pretty good team. Jeremy became the one person I would not get off the phone with without letting him know how much I love him.  Over the last year, we had kind of drifted apart. Jeremy does nothing but work lol. He doesn't have time for himself, much less for a lot of other people, including myself. We've started back talking more here recently, which is completely awesome, because I missed him something fierce. It's nice to have someone like Jeremy in my life, who believes in me like he does. Jer is the type that will push you to reach your goals. You can never have enough people like that in your life. (It's time for you to take a vacation and come spend some time with your girl Jer! ASAP!) Jeremy, I love you from the bottom of my heart...now and forever!

5. CHERENE LaSCOLA :  Once again, I met this amazing, beautiful woman online. Cherene is probably one of the toughest broads I know. She takes no crap off of anyone. She's the kind of girl you'd take to a knife fight with you. LOL. ( She's my "ride or die" girl!!!) It is my goal in life to one day meet up with Cherene in person. She's a northern east coast girl too. I'm thinking that's where all this attitude she's got, comes from. I honestly wouldn't have her any other way. She and I don't talk every day, but when we get on the phone, it's usually a pretty lengthy conversation. Just a couple minutes of hearing her voice is really NEVER enough. I feel like I get a strength recharge from talking to her. She makes me feel empowered. I really can't explain why though. I think it's just the tone of her voice, that lets you know, she takes no crap off of anyone. Cherene has been through a lot in her life too, so that probably is one of the many reasons I'm so drawn to her. She's been put through the ringer, but she gets back up, dusts herself off, and carries on. She's a mom, who is completely dedicated to her kids, and I admire that in her. She does it herself no matter how rough it gets. (Maybe I want to be like her when I grow up?) She's one of the most giving, caring people I know in her personal life and with what she does for a living. I hope when I'm old and decrepit, that I can get someone just as amazing as she is to take care of me. (That day is drawing near Cherene, so get ready to change my Depends LMAO) I ♥ you muh Chere. You make me smile and laugh when I need it most. I wish everyone was as blessed as I feel to have you in my life. You are beautiful lady!!!

6. JAKE OBERMAN : This guy...how can I describe him?  Jake is seriously one of the most ornery human beings I know. I am positive that is EXACTLY what drew me to him to begin with. He has little to no patience with most people, and in that respect, we are quite alike. LMAO. I don't think I've ever had a stitch of patience in my being. I guess when they were handing that out, I was absent. I don't really know what it is about Jake. I suppose I may have had a slight crush on him in the beginning. That was only from the way he acted, because I hadn't even paid attention to what the man looked like. Haha. He's actually a cutie pie. (I wish I had a better picture of him than I've got) For all Jake's rough exterior act, if he likes you, then there's a real softie in there somewhere. During the last year, when I've been going through a lot of my drama stuff, Jake has been there for me to talk to. He was there despite the fact that he's going through some health issues, and is usually in a great deal of pain. He's the kind of guy that gives you advice, but doesn't try to push me around to his way of thinking. He lets me be me...and apparently thinks that ME, is just fine the way I am. I genuinely appreciate people who don't try to change me. I think Jake is one of those people that would absolutely flip his wig if I changed. lol. Jake, I truly appreciate you being here for me. You don't know what it meant to me to have you to talk to. I love you dearly Jakey Poo! (runs and hides, cuz he's soooo gonna whoop me for calling him that!) *smirks*

7. GINA FLOWERS : Ever met someone that you think should have been born a part of your family? Gina may not be any kin to me, but she is now, and always will be my sister. I've known Gina for about 6 years I think. We met a long time ago online (on Pogo to be exact). We were online together all the time. Hell, I think we'd be on the computer and on the phone together at the same time. LOL! I couldn't love this woman more if she really was a blood relative. We don't live millions of miles away from one another, so it sucks that we haven't been able to meet yet. (She's still ticked I didn't stop in Kentucky on my way back to the east coast from IL) I am sorrrrrry Giners! I didn't even realize how close to you I actually was. She's an awesome friend, a great Mommy, and finally got the man of her dreams and got married. She gives me hope that it's possible to get to that point again. I think she's a smart, talented woman. She's beautiful inside AND out and my world would be less without her as a part of it. I love you Gina. I think a higher power didn't want to stress someone by making us actual sisters, so we have to just settle for being sisters in heart. We would be a force to be reckoned with! I will ♥ you until the day I die woman!!!

8. MARK S : What can I say about Mark that I already haven't by blog? He is thus far the strongest love of my life. He was my closest confidant for four long years. He was the blueprint that I based what love should be like, around. No one ever matched up to that idea of him in my mind. I think when someone finally came close to doing it, it began the crumbling of a four year bond. I think he tried hanging on to our friendship when I found new love, despite his complete objections to who I was with. I think me choosing the new man over him was the beginning of the end. It shouldn't have been, because Mark had his own "other" life, and it was one that did NOT include me. I, however, couldn't seem to shake him out of my system no matter what either of us tried. I went to this man for EVERYTHING. It didn't matter what the topic was about, I could talk to him and never feel uncomfortable about it. I can't tell you how many times we had discussions about "women's issues" and he made it through with flying colors. The man was a godsend to me for a VERY long time. I think I was available to him far more than he was to me, but it really didn't matter to me at the time. I just wanted him as a part of my life. Our friendship was THAT important to me. Before I left IL, I was still living in the same house with my ex for almost 2 months after breaking up. It was a rough time, and I don't think I could have made it through with the little sanity I had left....without Mark's help. Valentine's Day, I received a package in the mail from him. To most people, it would have looked like a bunch of junk, but to me, that tiny box was filled with MUCH, MUCH more. It was filled with love. He took the time out of his busy life and work schedule to do something for me, for NO other reason, than to put a smile on my face. In MY world, that means more than all the riches in the world. When I made the decision to move to S.C. with Jason, after all that had gone on in IL, I think it was just too much for him to deal with. I think he believed I was headed into another relationship immediately that was going to end up hurting me. I told him what my plans were, but he chose to believe otherwise. After four years of that crazy, strong bond, our friendship came to a crashing halt when he said a lot of things that should never have been said. I'm still upset about what happened, but there is nothing I can do to change it. I was honest with a man who chose to believe me a liar instead. I don't hate him. I never could. He'll always be a part of me. Once you truly love someone, it never goes away. Wherever you are today Mark, and whatever you're doing...I want you to know that despite everything, I'll always love you Sunshine. Thank you for the four years I was blessed to have you in my life. You changed a lot in me, and for that, I'll always be grateful.

9. DIXIE C :  Dixie is the only one I don't have a picture of. I sure wish I did. This woman means more to me than she will ever really know. I can't even really put into words truly what she means. Dixie is the mother of my ex Josh. I think originally when I moved to be with her son, she saw me as a possible ray of light for Josh. I think she truly wanted things to work out between us. I'm sure that was more so for her own child, but Dixie loved me. I was so envious of the relationship she had with her children. They are both grown adults, but they could go to her with any problem they ever have, and she will ALWAYS find a way to be there for them. This woman didn't know me from a hole in the ground but she welcomed me into her home...into her life....into her FAMILY...without a second thought. In my eyes, she is what a mother is supposed to be. She loves her children unconditionally and accepts them just as they are. I've never had that before, and she gave that to me. It didn't matter what I needed, she provided it, without a question. I could talk to her, about ANYTHING. I've never known what that's like. I have 2 mothers technically, and still couldn't say I'd ever been treated that way. I can't talk to my own mother about anything that is important to me at all. I honestly don't think that what matters to me is high on my mother's list of things that rank important. With Dixie, it didn't matter the topic of conversation, I could be myself with her. I didn't have to pretend to be someone else to impress her. She just accepted Gina as is. I hope her children truly know just what a gift they have in the woman who created them. Dixie, you know I love you. I can't even tell you how much. I miss you more than words can possibly express to you and I think of you so often. I pray that all is well with you everyday. I am so honored to have known you and for even a brief time, been able to call you "Mom".

And last, but certainly NOT least....my Bestie....my #10  SEAN PIZZARO

This is my best friend Sean. Stone cold hottie. Sean is currently hospitalized and battling cancer. Recent complications led to this last hospitalization. We came very close to losing him this time. He's been fighting this horrible disease the last couple years of his life. That gorgeous chunky face in the pic with him is my "nephew" Colt. He is Sean's miracle baby. Sean had given up on the idea of having kids because of all the cancer treatments he's undergone. When Colt's momma showed up saying she was pregnant, Sean was skeptical, and rightfully so. I was upset because I thought there was no way he could have kids, so I assumed the girl was toying with him. Well, it turns out, he IS in fact Colt's Daddy. Myself and a lot of Sean's friends dubbed him the "miracle baby". I think Colt is responsible for most of the fight Sean has in him to beat this cancer.(Not that he wasn't a fighter before). The last update on my fighter of a Bestie was that his feeding tube was out and he was eating better on his own. He still doesn't remember anyone yet though. I'm asking anyone who might read this, to please say a prayer for my Bestie. Prayers help, no matter who they come from...and though I know he is stubbornly strong and already a force to be reckoned with...he can use all the prayers he can get. Sean, I love you. You are probably THE strongest man I know, in MORE ways than one. You have been kicking this cancer's butt for a couple years now. You haven't let it win, and I know that you won't let it beat you. You are with me in my heart every single day, and though I can't be there with you, I'm right there by your side...with your hand in mine. I'm that annoying fist in your arm...pushing you to fight harder. I'm that annoying voice in your ear that sounds like a drill sergeant. I will NEVER give up on you, no matter how long this fight takes. Ti Amo migliore amico ♥


These ten people are by NO means the only people I love. I'm pretty sure my friends know that. I just chose people that have touched me in certain ways and I wanted to let them know. I love every last one of you friends that might not be listed here personally. I've come across so many beautiful souls in my life, and to you...I say....I treasure you always. ♥~♥